Where Real Estate Gets Its Dirt

MRED MLS’ Board of directors hires new CEO.

The board of directors of the Midwest Real Estate Data MLS (MRED) announced they have made a selection in their recent executive search.

Howard Doody

“After an exhaustive search we feel that we have found someone we can finally work with.” -stated a long time MRED, LLC board member.

Charlie Melidosian, also seeking the top spot at MRED, LLC, immediately resigned his seat on the board and was replaced by Clarabell the Clown.

Charlie could not be immediately reach for comment because his voice mail stated he would not take any phone calls or emails and required all inquires to be made in writing and mailed to his Baird & Warner office.

California Association of REALTORS (C.A.R.) announces name change to K.A.R.

In what Joel Singer described as a “necessary move” toward their statewide MLS initiative calREDD. The California Association of REALTORS announced they were formally changing their name to the Krafchow Association of REALTORS or K.A.R for short.

Ed Krafchow
Ed Krafchow

Mr. Singer continued, “Ed was tired of paying all those dues to multiple MLS providers so we had to come up with a way to repay him.”

UPDATE:

In other news, K.A.R also asserted itself beyond the geographic boundaries of California. “Our calREDD project has generated so much interest from outside of California that we are now offering the first 6 months free for all MLS participants 200 miles into the Pacific Ocean as well as 200 miles straight up in the sky.,” offered Singer.

“While we know this is really going to tick off the Chinese and Russians, it simply doesn’t make sense to limit ourselves to just land only. I mean, people do live on boats after all and now we have ex-Microsoft dudes flying into space. It was logical and , believe it or not, our new cool technology is even faster in space. Way, way faster! Like lightspeed faster” stated Joel Singer.

Ed Krafchow had no comment on his new namesake.

Brian Boero and Marc Davison shut down 1000WATT Consulting, start Progressive rock band.

Marc Davison
Marc Davison

“Get ready Texas!!” yelled Marc Davison as he boarded a plane at LAX airport bound for Austin, TX.

Brian Boero
Brian Boero

When asked about this new direction Davison commented, “I really wanted to form a kick ass blues band but Brian couldn’t play a hook on his keyboards if his life depended upon it, so Prog rock was our only choice. But who cares!! It sure beats the hell out of hearing brokers whine all day!”

When asked to list his influences he stated, “Early Zeppelin, The Doors, U2 and Sherry Chis”

“Sherry Chris?” we asked.

Yeah, we named the band “Better Hobos & Godzilla”

“Brand is important man….” finished Marc.

Dominion Enterprises acquires Prune Juice company.

In its first acquisition, since it failed attempt to sell itself, Dominion Enterprises appears to be diversifying.

Sam the happy Prune Farmer
Sam the happy Prune Farmer

Sam Cloverfield was surprised when a man in a dark blue suit showed up to his farm and said he was from “Norfolk, Virginia” and wanted to buy his prune farm and prune juice manufacturing business.

Prune Juice
Prune Juice

Mr. Cloverfield balked at Dominion’s first offer but came to settle on what he refereed to as a “fair price”.


In a related story, a company wide memo was sent to all Dominion Enterprise employees. The memo gave instructions on how to operate the newly installed coin operated locks on employee restrooms.

INCOME!
INCOME!

Trulia announces huge profits, employees quit citing "coolness factor", "gone".

Sami Inkinen, Trulia Co-Founder
Sami Inkinen, Trulia Co-Founder

“It was like somebody yelled FIRE”, cited one observer on Market Street in San Francisco near Trulia’s headquarters. “They all just left.”

Rudy, outside Zillow's offices in Seattle.
Rudy, outside Zillow's offices in Seattle.

Former Trulia employee Rudy Bachraty announced his departure over Twitter. “I’m outta here! Income was never part of the equation, the magic is gone.”

Realtor.com acquires Zillow-Lawrence Yun to take over as Zillow's new CEO

Steve Berkowitz
Steve Berkowitz

In a stunning announcement today Move.com’s new CEO, Steve Berkowitz, announced they were purchasing all Zillow’s assets. “The time was right”, stated Steve Berkowitz.

Lawrence Yun
Lawrence Yun

In an equally stunning move Lawrence Yun, National Association of REALTORS’s chief economist has left his position at NAR, and taken the CEO role of Zillow. Mr. Yun stated he was “exicited about the opportunity and working with Steve.”

Right after the announcement of Mr. Yun’s new position consumers reported that Zillow’s “Zestimates” began to rise, across the board. Zillow, so far, has no comment on this strange occurrence.

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